can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Damn victory sex feels great
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
