you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
