why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
