She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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