we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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