he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize