dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Found the puke drawer
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
