So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
