I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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