I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
