You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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