Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
