I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize