i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
