im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
The power of my boobs compel you
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
