I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
