i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
