walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
