Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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