lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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