that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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