Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
