whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
