Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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