He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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