You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize