i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
