BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
This is my gift to your gina
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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