I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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