My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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