i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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