genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I wish life had little blips of pornography
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
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