he puts the penis in happiness.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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