fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
