I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
