If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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