it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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