4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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