Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
