Grow some girl-balls and come out already
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
