I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
