No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
