I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Randomize
