Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
