Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
