May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
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