I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
