No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
A+ Viking dick
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
