Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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