hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
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