hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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