You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
