I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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