I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize