So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
