So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
