I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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