sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
