Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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