i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize