am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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