no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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