Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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