That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
