we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
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