About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
