I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Thank you for not boning my boss.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
