Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
